Thoughts on... GRACE

So I have been home for a few days now and am still wrestling with just simply resting in God's grace. I might sound scattered but this is where I am so yeah, just trying to be real. I am super stoked to have the opportunity to go on Titus Project... the outreach I am to be doing until Christmas. At the same time though I have been wrestling with how God could love a broken and imperfect man like myself. I was reading through the book "The Shack" and still haven't had the chance to get to it and finish it (on my list of things to do). As I was reading it God was stirring in me some major things about his heart of love and grace to me. I cannot help but think of the Psalms now when I think about who God is and who I am to him... the line "the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases..." This line is repeated countless times through the Psalms and now I am understanding more and more just why. The REALITY... which has become probably my favorite word... is that God loves me and nothing, absolutely nothing, can change that because of Christ's blood poured out for me. This is something that I mentally acknowledge but in my heart there is still so much I fail to believe. SO yeah, this is my thought that I felt like I needed to share. There is nothing that will make Jesus let go of me... like in this picture... I am not holding on to him so much as he has a firm grasp on me... Romans 8 blows my mind every time I read it, which makes me realize I need to read it right now.

This past week has been utterly unbelievable in my life. I got to spend a great day with my mentor before leaving to California. I got to have Chik-Fil-A and spend a day doing some work with my mom. I had the chance to swim and play with my step-sister Anita. I got to share the testimony of God's grace over my life for the past few years with the church I grew up in... and the opportunity to thank them for how they have invested in my life and encouraged me. I had the chance to see my best friend Rob who I love so much... as well as visit my friend Jennifer Angley from NC who lives now in SF, CA. God is so gracious... he is absolutely redeeming my friend Jen and answering prayers in her life... I had the chance to talk with her about God's redemption of her life over 3 hours of eating Sushi. My friend Rob and his wife Erin are going to have a baby in February and are going to be amazing parents. Last night I had the chance to love my sister and be a shoulder for her to cry on through a hard time. God is so faithful... he is so good at what he does, redemption. There are many areas of my life that I am hard on myself about... yet God is working his redemption in my life and the lives of others because that's what he does and that is who HE is. That is REALITY... in the midst of a world that is desperate for grace... he is alive and working. Whether I can see his hand in the moment or not... oh how he loves us... his grace is indeed beautiful and amazing and altogether what you and I are desperate for...